several months ago, I quit my 'first' job

July 15, 2024

I've been avoiding this subject from the internet, but I believe that "sharing is caring." I was going to write a blog post on my alternate blog that focuses on my progression into the journalism field, although this isn't about journalism.

I decided to move completely out of my comfort zone when I graduated from college and applied for jobs that were not in California. I was clicking through applications daily that felt like they all could lead me in three different life directions. One, was of course, general reporter positions. Two, teacher assistant positions. Three, all positions within a 10-mile radius on Indeed.

I wanted just one good interview to give me a sign of what I needed to do next. I was praying for anything.

Eventually, I got a job as an enrichment instructor for Minecraft and other stem-related applications at different school locations. The job was simple and fulfilling. I got too comfortable and broke work policies. To this day, that situation makes me uncomfortable with guilt. I continued working there despite my irresponsible actions and had the best time ever while learning a valuable lesson.

I had a moment where I was telling a student advice, that I needed. I sat there, my words disappearing in thin air and thought, I can do better if I try to do better. I journaled my feelings with everything I wanted and worked from there.

Living in Wyoming

Then it happened. Great application, great interview, and a job offer became a new job. I moved to Wyoming about two weeks after accepting the position and worked the day after moving into my first apartment. Things were in full gear. I was on my own. This - this is it.

I had deleted Instagram for months at this time. I was working all day, no sleep, no social media - I was living differently.

Life is a rollercoaster of emotions. I was feeling excited one day and terrified the second. Imposter Syndrome made me feel like I wasn't a journalist - a true journalist. I can't believe I felt insecure about doing my DREAM JOB (what???).

BYU ensembles fill Thompson Auditorium

I wasn't keeping up with the amount of stories, and internal communication from me to my bosses was terrible. I had to leave. My stomach had been twisting and turning for months. I couldn't take it anymore. My body and my mind just knew what to do, so I decided to quit that day.

The next, my stories were plastered throughout the newspaper. I was at the front, some of the community section, and even the "mistake" was mine. I was astonished, sad, and confused.

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I scrambled. I found a new job, two jobs, and now I'm in a whole different portion of my personal life and my career. Why are life changes so unnerving?

My Genie in a Bottle wish is to see my life way into the future through a looking glass. What would my life be like? Would I have wanted to see that - this? I don't want to think about the future anymore. I want to appreciate the now again.

I'm more than grateful for every job opportunity I've had. Each job is like a brick, except each brick is miles away from the other. Soon all according to a blueprint I haven't received copies of yet.